The Logic Off Topic list

Dear Phil,

I must say that I for one did realize that you were only trying to make a
joke. For what it's worth, I am British like you. I have learned -- to my
peril -- that the somewhat laconic, dry, British sense of humour does not
always translate very well, particularly when it comes to irony. As you said
in your last post, you will bear this in mind more clearly in the future.

As is surely obvious I am an African. I hope you will understand that,
honestly, it is the insidious 'raindrop' effect that is oh-so-terribly
wearing. It is a genuine reality of my life that every one in three people I
meet is a bigot. I walk into a shop to make a simple purchase and I am
expected to just laugh politely when someone makes a quite unnecessary
remark about the colour of my skin.

Well ... it is all very well for them. They will probably not have to
interact that closely with another African another two or three months. But
... this is my life. Within the next 20 minutes I am going to have contact
with maybe another half a dozen people. So ... within the next 20 minutes I
am going to have to suffer at least two more
'get-it-but-oooh-aren't-I-ever-so-funny-oh-what-hoot-my-but-where's-our-sens
e-of-humour' type remarks. I hope you will understand that after having been
awake for 18 hours this REALLY AND TRULY GET TEDIOUS and that one gets to
the point of being utterly unable, any more, just to shrug and classify this
as the kind of taxonomic frippery that the perpetrators intend you to.
Multiply this by 365 days to make a year and I am sure you begin to get the
picture.

Or ... as another example of this repetitive kind of tedium ... in the post
immediately before the one in which you actually apologised, you went
through that old and tired 'Some of my best friends are Spanish' routine.
Please Phil ... can you but imagine HOW MANY TIMES I have had to endure this
in my life. I swear that if I had been given just one pound or dollar for
every time someone has said this to me I would now be as rich as Bill Gates.
It really depressed me when you said that. However, that depression was
lifted when, about 10 minutes later, you made a very different post.

For what it's worth: My wife is Scottish, actually. Therefore, I have one of
those 'mixed-race' marriages. To me, it is just a marriage, but to other
people it is something remarkable and so it is given that title. My children
are what some people call 'half-caste'.

You would not BELIEVE the number of times that my wife has been stopped in
the streets of London, New York, and other so-called cosmopolitan cities by
complete strangers who then proceed to make comments -- as if the children
they were speaking about were deaf and dumb or stupid or something -- about
how 'very wrong' it was of my wife to make the 'great mistake' of marrying a
'coloured gentleman'; and shouldn't she please have put a little bit more
thought into 'how difficult it is going to be for the children'. My children
are perfectly happy, thank you, with the only difficulties they face in life
coming from those who have made it necessary for them to deal with this
crass kind of insensitivity. When the first complete stranger says this it
is something of a surprise. But ... when you have been married nearly 20
years and have four such children one really begins to lose patience.


I am in my turn sending you an apology in that I am in my turn sorry to have
made you angry for that was not really my intent; and nor was it my intent
to hurt your feelings. But ... all I did was try to get across to you what
the world looks like from where I sit.

I am in no way trying to be demeaning of you, or superscilious, or superior.
But I spoke the way I did because I sensed, from the emails of yours that I
have read, that you honestly had no idea of quite how remarks like this can
be taken, nor of how wounding they can be for someone who has to suffer them
on a regular and daily basis. I am genuinely trying to mean it as a
compliment -- and I am sorry if it doesn't come off that way -- when I say
that on this particular occasion I honestly thought that it was well worth
the while to expend the kind of energy I did expend in trying to get another
human being to understand what it must be like. I made the effort because I
thought it would be fruitful.

I am deeply grateful to you because, clearly, what I said got through to you
... and I hope you will believe that it means a great deal to me because
there is now one less person on the planet making my life, and those of
others like me, unnecessrily onerous.

And ... I hope you will accept that the harsh words that I spoke and the
great vigour with which I spoke them were uttered not so much because I had
anything personal against you but because experience has taught me that
there is no other way to get one's point across. At least I refrained from
obscentities.



The truth is, actually, that this is the third time that I have tried to
join the Logic list. On the first occasion I was so appalled by some of the
things people said that I just left in disgust. On the second occasion,
about three days after I joined, there were those 'oh why don't you get a
sense of humour' and 'what is it about you humourless feminists' kinds of
posts (and to which Marvin referred) that I again found discouraging So I
again left.

But ... I use Logic Audio ... and I do/did want to be a full part of the
Logic community. So I tried again.

On this occasion I just thought that I had displayed enough cowardice the
last two times and that it was time I took a stand -- particularly when it
was quite obvious that, in the end, at least SOMEONE would listen.

To the rest of you all I can say is that you clearly do not understand the
extremely short distance there is between this kind of insensitive and
unfunny joke and having abuse hurled at you as you innocently walk around
the streets -- or suddenly finding yourself being dragged along behind a car
by your ankles. This is NOT A JOKE to me. As you all know, it has actually
happened to people with the colour of my skin and who did nothing to earn it
than have the temerity to poke their noses outside their front door.

I have done absolutely nothing to earn the kind of insensitivity and
crassness that I have seen displayed upon this list to people like me, and
it would oblige me very greatly indeed if people would please make that
little bit more effort to just STOP IT. All it takes is a little bit of
thought. As Phil has said: he has learned a lesson. I just do not understand
why we had to go through all this to learn it.

And to you Phil, I would honestly like to say that if ever I pass you on the
street then I would really rather like to stop and buy you a drink and just
jaw for a while; and I do hope that what has just passed between us has not
offended you so very greatly that you feel that you would really rather
refuse it.

Thank you again.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Angus" <phil.angus@...>
To: <logic-ot@egroups.com>
Sent: Sunday, December 17, 2000 6:09 AM
Subject: [L-OT] Interview with Gerhard Lengeling


> I previously said:
>
> >If it's only in Spanish it can't have been very important!!
>
> And just to end it all on my part, I would ask everyone to try and at
least
> understand the context of what the original posting was actually supposed
to
> be in.
>
> The emphasis was supposed to be on the word 'ONLY' and not the word
> 'SPANISH'.
>
> If I had wanted to truly offend anyone for some perverse reason I would
have
> written it something like: 'If it's in Spanish, It can't have been very
> important'
>
> In other words, there we all were scrambling round trying to translate it
> into something we could all understand (not just English) when if it had
> been that important it would all have been done for us. Again this is not
my
> opinion, but was a glib joke.
>
> I had to endure a lot of abuse and comments from people who automatically
> assumed that (even though I was joking) I actually made reference to it
only
> being in Spanish therefore it can't have been important because Spanish
was
> the language it was in.
>
> However I can't have it both ways and make a comment, have it taken
wrongly,
> and then expect everyone to make it perfectly clear in their replies, and
> not to make a mistake or misunderstand. I have been guilty of this myself
in
> the past. I am perfectly capable and willing to take this on the chin and
> learn to 'double read' everything before I click the send button. I notice
> all the people I have respect for on this list seem to be suggesting that
as
> a solution, rather than making rash accusations and wagging fingers.
>
> Well there we go, I have learnt a lesson, I hope some others have as well.
>
> Regards and don't eat too much turkey (I mean the bird turkey, not the
> country!)
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>