Elektron Musical Instruments

If Elektron is making a sampler, I've got a list of features that would make it the 
ultimate sampler:

-retrigger (like on Machinedrum's E12 drums)
-reverse
-pitch shift
-time stretch
-ranges of notes can trigger the sample, with different parameter locks
-all parameters can be controller through CC messages
-parameter locks for each note are programable
-can save "kits" where note ranges / parameter locks are uniquely set
-multiple 1/4" outputs (assignable routings)
-filters
-FX (send amounts are parameters for each note)
	-reverb
	-compressor
	-isolated delay for each individual output 
	(can accomplish stereo delay on master outs)
	-flanger/phaser/chorus
	-ring modulator
-velocity controls volume of sample
-pan parameter (affects master out)
-ADSR amp envelopes
-assignable envelopes (can also affect FX parameters)
-LFOs (can also affect FX parameters)
-note ranges for a particular sample can be set and stored in a kit
-scrub trimming of a sample with graphical display and adjustable scrub 
length
-volume chopping with programmable rhythm loops (no pops/clicks)
-hard disk OR cdrw drive stores all samples
-DDR RAM stores samples currently being used (according to kit)
-ability to cut, copy, paste parts of a sample (using scrub to mark points)
-ability to create a new sample by pasting parts of others together
-ability to merge two samples into one (bounce two tracks, each with their own 
parameter settings, into one track) [eg. 2 snare drums]
-USB port to export samples to a computer
-XOX step sequencer (similar to machinedrum)
-blue on black background active (glowing) display with as many pixels as 
machinedrum's display