Datacolor User to User Support Group.

A couple of months ago I got Spyder2Express to profile my monitor; I
don't print at home.  I thought I was following directions when the
instructions said to have set the monitor at full brightness and
contrast.  The resulting prints (from a printer I have a profile for)
were very dark compared to the monitor.

Obviously there seems to be a need for brightness and contrast
adjustment but I don't know where or when to make it.  If I set
brightness and contrast to the way I like it, isn't that completely
subjective which defeats the purpose of profiling?  There seems to be
no mechanism in Spyder to control the monitor or to tell me what
brightness and contrast to set.

I've gone back to eyeballing with charts, etc. but though the results
are much better than with my Spyder, I still have the feeling that I
am missing some extremely basic information and that my prints are
still suffering.

I've asked this question in several photography color management
forums, admitting to complete ignorance and pleading for an answer in
the most basic language, preferably in words of two syllables or less,
and have only received replies with cryptic mathematical notations
regarding candles and measurements that my monitor does not provide;
or that ignore my question completely, saying that Spyder works great
for them.

So... could someone enlighten me about at what stage of profiling I
should alter monitor brightness and contrast to match my print and how
that is achieved to get an objective rather than subjective profile?

Thank you very much.